This post isn't going to be one of my usual... this one... well, is more of a window into the inner workings of my head. It's an attempt at trying to focus in and understand all of the noise in my head... all of the screaming, doubt, anger, sadness, hopefulness, happiness, joy, and beauty that it perceives. It's an attempt to quiet the storm, to hush the voices (all my own of course... there's no one else living here), to find some solace, and to come to terms with the fact that this is not the world in which I wish to live. This post is free form, flowing thoughts, with no beginning or end - like many thoughts in my brain, only a middle.
blue pill... take the blue pill... why? why does everyone insist on taking the blue pill?.. Is it because they have not the capacity to deal with the wrongs? Is it too much to handle?... Prozak, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, why do we fell the need to medicate ourselves until death... why are we so anxious, so depressed, what is wrong with society that damn near everyone I know is on some sort of anti-depressant?... $3.50 a gallon, no freedom of speech, don't dare disagree with the administration, starving children right here in our own back yards, NEW JOBS CREATED they cry... yet all of them low wage, expanding health care costs while CEOs make millions off the backs of the working poor, religion influencing the laws that others must follow, laws which only serve to help a few and stomp on others, socioeconomic discrimination - legalized, my family doesn't matter... fuck the reich, those holier than thou hypocritical bastards... ignore the fact that it's all illusion, believe in the illusion, take the blue pill and it'll all be so much better... believe the way 'we' do, live the way 'we' live... No! Fuck you!... I find no solace in the blue pill... pretending everything's ok... EVERYTHING IS NOT OK!... open your god damned eyes!... fuck the blue pill!... but then it makes everything so much more difficult... is the path of least resistance really the best path? Take the damn blue pill? Ignore the veil and live in the illusion? Fucking fascists... that's what they would prefer... a dictatorial government where only they have privilege and everyone else has no rights... excuse me if I still believe in the American Dream and opportunity for everyone... not in privilege for few... why the hell should I blindly follow laws and morays created by those with greed for money and power? ...laws created by those whose IQs are significantly lower than my own and which only serve a handful of people? People are fucking stupid. I despise this world. I despise the blue pill. Oh, but just take it and you too will be able to function in 'our' illusion. Don't want to take it? Well we've got a solution for that too... we will force you to. We will medicate society and subdued them with fear... fear of eachother.. then we will be able to control them all because everyone will be too afraid of eachother to even communicate with each other... to afraid to learn that different is not bad, it's just different... yes, we will medicate and paralyze everyone... only then can we carry out our true plan of world domination... those who disagree with our own "values" will be socioeconomically bludgeoned into non-existence.. no one really cares about them anyway... cause they're different... and remember, the blue pill tells you different is bad and everything is going to be okay.. just do what we say and fear your neighbor... take the blue pill and just pretend right along with us that everything will be okay. Fuck the blue pill... then again... until I find a way out... it is easier... I do not want to live in this world which they are creating. I do not wish to live in their reality. This is not the reality which I choose for myself. Maybe I'm an idealist... but I don't see how this blue pill bullshit is benefiting humanity. It only makes us fear and hate one another while pretending that everything is okay.... EVERYTHING IS NOT OK... but for now, I've no way out... so... for now, I'll swallow it down, I'll give in, I'll pretend, and maybe... everything will be okay.
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For the past 3 nights I slept in the woods, suspended from trees. That's reality.
Keep in mind there are neat places much much closer to you than upstate NY. Riding north out of MKE is very pleasant, and it doesn't take long at all to get back in touch with reality.
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